Story taken from the book by Raj Soren Coping with Stress and Adversity - Inspiring Stories

“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

The Monk and the Tourists

Let me start with a story about Jane and Bob, who each travelled to Tibet to meet a Monk.

Jane was in her mid-30s and ran her own marketing consultancy business, all whilst being a wife and mother. Bob, meanwhile, was in his mid-50s and working as a manager in the retail sector, not leaving much time for his family, friends, or even himself. These individuals did not know each other yet; however, their paths were soon to cross. They were both suffering from stress due to their respective work and home lives. They both sought a solution and felt that they had to travel in order to do so. They found themselves searching the internet, each identifying that Tibet may have the answers for them. So, they booked their flights.

Jane and Bob landed in Kathmandu and then took a connecting flight to Lhasa Gonggar international airport in Tibet. Jane and Bob later bumped into each other on a train and, as they were in the same carriage, they struck up a conversation. They talked for hours about how they had both lived stressful lives and how they were hoping that Tibet could provide some answers and peace for them. They realised that they were both staying at the same hotel but on different floors. Jane and Bob met early for breakfast the next day and realised that they had the same habit of leaving their mobile phone on the table just in case an important call, text or email came in. They began to realise that they were quite similar.

They decided to explore the sights, and along the way they came across an elderly woman at the local bazaar who held a handwritten sign that read, “The answer you seek is closer than you think. He is waiting for you.”

An arrow was pointing from the woman’s sign in the direction of a mountain some miles away. “Who is waiting for us?” Jane and Bob both asked. “The monk that you seek is waiting for you,” the woman replied, beckoning them to climb the mountain with her warm, broad smile.

Jane and Bob looked at each other with surprise and excitement, realising that this was the reason they had come all this way. This could be the same wise monk that they had read about in the tourist books and stories of old. This monk must be close to 100 years old by now!

As they gazed up at the mountain, Jane and Bob noticed a temple perched near the top with some smoke billowing out of its chimney. The temple was pulling them towards it like a magnet. Later that day they travelled by jeep to where the temple was situated. They were keen to meet this wise monk, so they made haste to the temple with the help of some local guides. They were excited to meet the monk who was reputed to be the wisest in Tibet; maybe he could provide the answers they sought.

Jane and Bob climbed the 3000 steps to the temple with anticipation, not knowing what to expect. Maybe the monk sat on a golden throne surrounded by many worshipers. They soon found the monk, sitting silently with his prayer beads in his hands and meditating under a tree. Jane and Bob slowly approached the tree, trying not to disturb the monk. The monk noticed their presence and asked them to join him for tea.

“Why have you travelled so far and abandoned your families?” the monk asked. Jane and Bob paused for a few seconds, rather shocked by this monk’s directness. They both replied that they had come to seek peace and enlightenment so that they could reduce the stress and worries they were both facing. The monk then started to pour tea to the top of their cups, asking them if that was enough. They both replied “Yes,” but the monk kept pouring until the tea was overflowing. “Stop! It’s overflowing! It’s too much!” Jane and Bob exclaimed. “Yes,” the monk replied, “They are overflowing, just like your lives, which are full of stress. You must empty the cup and allow knowledge and peace to enter your heart and mind.”

“What do you mean?” Jane and Bob asked, to which the monk replied with the following: “When is enough, enough? The reason you are so stressed is because you are trying to fill too much into this cup. If you keep adding more problems and more stress, how will you find the time to rest your mind, be calm and give back to your family and friends? Your cup is full of feelings and emotions which are raging like a storm. You must learn to calm this storm and take care of this cup before it breaks. Did you not notice the beauty on your journey here? Did you not notice the deer giving birth to its young? Did you not notice the young children begging outside the hotel as you rushed into the bazaar? Did you not notice the beautiful blue lake and the rivers that ran down the side of the mountain? Did you smell the flowers and listen to the sound of nature along the way? You missed most of these sights because you were too eager to achieve your next task and meet me. Just like you are rushing to do all your jobs in your to-do list, you forget to enjoy the journey. Be more like the majestic eagle that soars in the sky above us. The eagle flies with ease by using the fast-flowing currents in the air that Mother Nature provides to keep it above all its troubles.”

Jane and Bob felt that they had been struck by lightning after hearing these profound words. They soon began to realise that the monk’s teacup represented their lives, and by continually filling them up with stress, they were doing their health and minds a great deal of harm. Stress was affecting their families and they were spending less and less time with them. Even when they did spend time with family, it was not quality time as arguments (for example, about money) would arise, and they would still be thinking about work. Even after vacations, the stress and problems soon came back, with things returning to how they were before. Jane and Bob realised that they were both reaching burnout points within their lives.

Jane and Bob decided that things had to change. They both spent a few more days with the monk and started to appreciate the good things in their lives, which in turn made them calmer. They both travelled back home and kept in touch to see how each was coping with reducing their respective stresses. Could they create new habits and change their lives for the better before the storm broke their teacup?

You may identify with some of the same stresses and worries that Jane and Bob had. The stories in this book will help you and all the Janes and Bobs out there in learning new ways to cope with stress. All that it requires of you is to stay open minded.

If you experience stress and you are serious about creating long lasting coping strategies to conquer stress, then DM and we can have a conversation about a life changing coaching sessions.

Conquering Stress Programme (3 months 10 sessions)

5 golden steps to conquer stress.

1. Identify the triggers and root causes- Stress

2. Mind body connection

3. Life changing strategies

4. Empowering action

5. Focused and strong

Book By Raj Soren Coping with Stress and Adversity - Inspiring Stories